Difference between revisions of "Meet the Sandvich"
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***[http://www.teamfortress.com/images/posts/soundbytes/SOLDIER_paindonthurt.mp3 "You do not frighten me! Pain does not hurt! *''Cracking noise''* I stand corrected! Arrrrggghhgh!"] (Improvised from [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098206/ Road House]) | ***[http://www.teamfortress.com/images/posts/soundbytes/SOLDIER_paindonthurt.mp3 "You do not frighten me! Pain does not hurt! *''Cracking noise''* I stand corrected! Arrrrggghhgh!"] (Improvised from [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098206/ Road House]) | ||
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Revision as of 21:31, 28 January 2011
Meet the Sandvich | |
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Video Info | |
Released: | October 10, 2008 |
Run time: | 1:06 |
"Meet the Sandvich" Video Transcript
Transcript |
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[Two slices of the Sandvich are in a refrigerator on a plate beside three bottles of Red Shed beer]
["Meet the Sandvich" text appears] [Cut back to the Sandviches] Heavy: [Groans repeatedly] Scout: "Yeah, there he is!" Soldier: "You! Stop right where you are, that is an order! He's getting away! Do not let him get to the re-" [The Heavy opens the door, grabs one slice of the Sandvich and closes the door] Scout: "D-don't do it, pal!" Soldier: "Do. Not. Do it!" Heavy: [Eats sandvich] "Om nom nom nom..." Soldier: "Oohhhhhhh, hell..." Scout: "H-h-hey, let's just calm down here! You listening? J-j-just... OH GOD!" [The Heavy chuckles as his loud footsteps are heard gathering speed] Scout: "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GO-" [Several loud thuds are heard, a beer bottle falls over, and the refrigerator door opens slightly] Heavy: "Ahahahaha!" [Sound of liquid spilling on the floor, assumedly the Scouts blood] Scout: "My blood! H-he punched out all my blood!" [More thuds are heard.] Soldier: "Ow, ow ow ow ow! Ouch, ouch! Ahhh..." [A thud and a snap is heard] Soldier: "You call that breaking my spine? You RED team ladies wouldn't know how to break a spine if-" [A loud snap is heard and the door closes and opens again, the floor now covered with blood and another one of the bottles of beer falls over] Soldier: "AUGHHH! MY SPINE!" [A girlish scream is heard as ending flourish music plays. The camera pans across a diagram of the Sandvich] [Cut to the Heavy in Dustbowl, as he was in the original Meet the Heavy, but instead of wielding his Minigun he is devouring a Sandvich] Heavy: "Nom nom nom... [Takes a bite] nom nom... mmmm.. nom." |
Notes
- The video came with a description of the Sandvich, much like the other Meet the Team videos:
- Name : Sandvich
- Role : Edible Device
- Weapons : Toothpick
- Description : He was a good lunch who played by the rules, until the rules robbed him of everything he ever loved. Now he's lettuce, tomato, cheese, bread, and a mysterious slice of meat, marching down your throat and straight to hell. He'll satisfy your hunger. FOR REVENGE!
- On the opening screen, at the bottom it says "Copyright OMNOMNOM", a reference to internet phrase 'OM NOM NOM', an onomatopoeic representation of the act of eating. (In every other Meet the Team video, the copyright is "Copyright LOLOLOL")
- A number of unused lines were recorded for the Meet the Sandvich:
- Heavy:
- "What was that, Sandvich? Kill them all? Hahahahaha, good idea!" (This line was eventually used in a slightly modified form as a response upon eating a Sandvich in-game.)
- Scout:
- "Gimme back my legbone! *Smacking noise* Hey! *Smacking noises* Hey! Don't hit me with it!"
- "H-He's like a bear! He's like a big shaved bear that hates people!"
- "Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain!"
- "I regret everything! I regret everything I've ever done!"
- "He's already dead! He's already deaaad!" (Reference to an episode of Template:W)
- Soldier:
- "Hambone, we have got you by the short and friskies!"
- "Do not do it! Do not even think about doing it! Do not even think about not doing it!"
- "Son, you are writing checks your butt will find uncashable! Are you hearing me? Your backside will be escorted from the bank! You will find this humiliating!"
- "Don't throw your life away, son. You only get one! Or, depending on your religious affiliation, several! Either way it is a finite number so think it through!"
- "You call that killing me? I am not dead! *Cracking noise* Now I am ordering you to kill me! Please please please, God, Kill me!"
- "There is a checkbook in the left-rear pocket of my fatigues! I will pay you all of my money to stop!"
- "Son, I need a blood transfusion double-time! I am going to require roughly half of your blood!"
- "You cannot hurt me, I do not have time to bleed! *Cracking noise* My schedule has just opened up! Aaaohhww, my God!" (Improvised from Predator)
- "You do not frighten me! Pain does not hurt! *Cracking noise* I stand corrected! Arrrrggghhgh!" (Improvised from Road House)
- Heavy:
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