Timeline

The story of Team Fortress 2 is gathered through different pieces in history; most of this information comes from pages of Major Updates. Hidden links in these pages as well as the examination of the TF2 comic book pages contribute various dates in the Team Fortress 2 timeline.

---

Undated

George Washington makes known his greatest regret: "All historians agree that George Washington's greatest regret was not being PERMANTETLY INVISIBLE” (Dapper Rogue: Catalogue for the Gentleman Scoundrel).

1808

The year of the Demoman’s “bottle o’ scrumpy.”

June 1814

An editorial cartoon is published in the Gentle Manne’s Monthly, entitled “An Editorial Cartoon of Some Insighte,” starring the editorial’s mascot, the Gentle Manne of Leisure, and his Companione.

Undated

An undated cartoon is published, presumably in the same editorial, revealing the name of the Gentle Manne of Leisure’s companion to be Sinclaire. A paid advertisement is published (presumably in The Zepheniah Mann & Sons Co. Quarterly Concern), by Zepheniah Mann & Sons Co., endorsing the employment of 6 year olds at their company. It is revealed that Zepheniah Mann & Sons Co. is a smelting plant, dealing with different industrial activities. An issue of The Zepheniah Mann & Sons Co. Quarterly Concern: A Compendium of Broad-swords, Musket Gonnes & Domesday Weaponry for Immediate Sale is published, by Zepheniah Mann, the proprietor of Zepheniah Mann & Son’s Co. It is here that we learn that Zepheniah Mann is clearly an arms dealer. Section I of the Quarterly Concern, is focused on “Artillery & Munitions”. Section II deals with “Virulent Poisons,” including “Swamp-Gas Capsules.” Section III is “Philosophy” (specifically on the construction of Zeppelins, as seen in fig. 1). Section IV is titled “Domestic Occurrances,” including “[a] List of Casualties, Burials, Christenings and Beheadings.” Section V is called “Physic.” The final section is entitled “Poetry & Musick,” specifically about the “Subject of Weaponry.” The next quarter’s Quarterly Concern is briefly hinted at, with its subject title being “A Colloquy On The Soldier’s Arte.” The Zepheniah Mann & Sons Co. guarantee is printed at the bottom: “If For Any REASON Your COMPLETE SATISFACTION With ZEPHANIAH MANN & SONS’ Goods & Sundries Is Not Forthcoming, You May DEMAND Satisfaction – FROM US!” Zepheniah Mann moves to the American frontier at an unspecified time.

The Last Will and Testament of Zepheniah Mann is written. It is a lengthy address, written on the sloughed off pieces of his own skin, describing the horrid events of the last years of Zepheniah Mann’s life. Being duped into purchasing the untamed frontier of America by his son’s Blutarch and Redmond, with promises of “gravel as far as the eye could see.” However, upon leaving his estate at Cambridgeshire in England, he contracted various unique diseases on the trip, and when arriving, discovered that it a continent of “fool’s gravel.” Mann curses the people of America, vowing to haunt any soul who taints his grave with the use of firearms. He leaves the rest of his estate to his maidservant, Elizabeth, “including all deeds, accounts, debts public and private—[his] tobacco plantation—and what remains of the fortune [his] sons [had] squandered.” He instructs her to find the gravel he could not find and to honor him by “placing it inside a pit!” To his tracker and aide in the frontier, Barnabas Hale, ancestor of Saxton Hale, he gives control of the Mann & Sons Munitions Concern. To his sons, Blutarch and Redmond, he curses them to partnership, by splitting everything they persuaded him to purchase, in half, leaving them to feud. Lastly, on a carefully hidden portion of the will, Mann promises an unknown important person “the entirety of [his]—.” He swears the stranger to the utmost of secrecy. Accompanying the will is a portrait of the Mann family. (from left to right: Barnabas Hale, Blutarch an unknown dog, Zepheniah Mann, Elizabeth, Redmond, and the Stranger)

A picture of the Mann family

(It is interesting to note that Mann’s will is incorrectly signed as ZEPH-A-NIAH, instead of ZEPH-E-NIAH. This inconsistency, seemingly from Mann’s own hand, can only prove one of three things: that his company name is spelled wrong, that he, on his deathbed, misspelled his own name, OR that his will was forged, perhaps by the stranger that Mann promised his secrets to.) Zepheniah Mann dies. His will is enacted.

1865

Abraham Lincoln holds his Second Inaugural Address, stating, "I say this to you with unvarnished factualism of plain talk: I love Arena Mode."

January 25th, 1895?

“Hills Discovered!” In Australia, “Mysterious New Geographic Lumps Confound Men of Australian Science” (Here’s Some News, Mate).

March 6th, 1895

“War, Mate!” Two months later, the king of Australia declares war on hills, stating “There will be time to study these so-called hills after they are dead” (Here’s Some News, Mate). April 5th, 1895? “King Conquers Hill!” It is reported that the “Coward Mound Surrender[ed] Without [a] Fight” (Here’s Some News, Mate).

Undated

Zepheniah Mann & Sons Co. shortens its name to Mann Co.

January 23rd, 1900?

“Mann Co Invents ‘Ro-Bot’” Here it is revealed that Man Co., at the turn of the century, is now an “Australian Weapons Giant.” In the article, Mann Co. officials attempt to soothe public concerns over their “Ro-Bot,” stating that “[t]hese automatons will only be used for violence.” On a minor note, a poll shows that “Robin” is the most popular Australian girl’s name (Here’s Some News, Mate).

1941-1949

The Soldier attempts to enlist in the army, and is rejected by every U.S. military branch. The Soldier then decides to take matters into his own hands, and buys a ticket to Europe, where, after locating Poland, he embarks on a Nazi killing spree, only ending when he finds out the war has been over for four years in 1949.

Undated Saxton Hale becomes CEO of Mann Co., now defined as a division of TF Industries, a previously unmentioned and mysterious parent company, based in Washington.

1961

“Saxton Hale’s Thrilling Tales first arrived on newsstands in 1961 as part of a bold Mann Co. initiative to sidestep an increase on postage costs for their weapons catalogs. The first 64 page issue contained four pages of thrilling tales and 60 pages of ads for exciting new Mann Co. products. But Thrilling's editors quickly discovered that showing Mann Co. president Saxton Hale using a product in the story itself tripled its sales. Ads were cut to 32 pages to accommodate longer, product placement-based stories” (Mann Co). “Saxton Hale's Barbershop Action capitalized on the brief "haircut" fad of the early 60s. Its breakaway success would lead to the ancillary titles Saxton Hale's Barbershop Romance and Haircut Horrors Starring Saxton Hale's Ghost. By Issue #40, however, the peacenik movement had gripped America in its filthy, tangled mane, and haircut fiction saw a steep decline. This would be the start of a longtime feud between Hale and hippies, which would culminate in his firebombing Woodstock from a helicopter” (Mann Co).

1962

“Saxton Hale's Jungle Brawl debuted in the U.S. in 1962, riding a wave of anti-gorilla sentiment following Russia's successful launch of the first monkey, Vladimir Bananas, into space. America's rage was not isolated to communist primates--that same year, monkeynaut Poopy Joe cruelly dashed the U.S.'s hopes of reaching the stars when its shuttle detonated on takeoff. Brawl was notorious for inflaming human-gorilla tensions during its ten-year run, most famously in issue #50, which was printed with gorilla’s blood. Its print run of 17 million copies left only five gorillas on the planet” (Mann Co).

The RED Demoman and BLU Soldier meet at a projectile weapons expo and become friends. They visit Las Vegas, the Gravel Pits of America, attend a basketball game, and visit the Eye Museum.

One week before WAR!, Helen, the TF Industries Administrator, while about her daily business announcing to RED Team and BLU Team, is notified by her assistant, Miss Pauling, of the Demoman and Soldier’s friendship. Miss Pauling contacts Saxton Hale, requesting new weapons for a competition to break up the friendship.

Meet the Spy occurs.

Saxton Hale jumps out of a plane and crashes through his office window at Mann Co. He greets his servants, Mr. Bidwell and Mr. Reddy. He is now the 6th wealthiest man in America and sends bouquets and “You’re Dead” letters to the other 5. He receives the call of Miss. Pauling. It is implicated that the “Poopy Joe” incident was caused by Mann Co. The senate is investigating the causes of the explosion. Crates of highly experimental new ordinance, developed by Mann Co. were supposed to be onboard the space shuttle, but now reside illegally at Mann Co. Saxton Hale is all to eager to get rid of them, and Miss Pauling accepts. Hale then beats up a parking lot full of hippies.

Thursday, December 10th, 1962

"WAR!" is announced, between Demomen and Soldiers. Their friendship ends, and war fueled by competition for a Mann Co. product begins (The Gravel Pit Gazette).

Friday, December 11th, 1962

"No End In Sight." The death tolls mount between Demoman and Soldier alike, with Soldier in the lead for most kills. The President calls for support, and urges the populace to contribute to the war effort. Saxton Hale exploits the tragedy by selling T-Shirts (The Badwater Bugle Herald-Tribune).

Saturday, December 12th, 1962

Science Come's Through." There is speculation on whether or not science will end the war. A picture is shown with the Engineer in the foreground. Poopy Joe's capsule explosion is reported (The Teufort Times).

1963

“As the youth movement of the 1960s escalated, manufacturers produced fewer and fewer products for the elderly. By 1963, only four items remained: hats, meat, caskets, and Saxton Hale's Mildly Thrilling Tales. Naked from the forehead down, lying in their coffins gumming Salisbury steak, an entire generation of despondent, forgotten consumers was left with just one thing on which to spend their government checks: Hale's tepid, senior-friendly tales of modest suspense. Saxton Hale Visits His Mother Monthly and Soothing Stories of Familiar Things soon followed. Hale quickly became the wealthiest man in the western hemisphere" (Mann Co).

1965

The Engineer designs several mechanical contraptions, including the Sentry Mechanical Firing Device- Model v 2.1, while under contract with TF Industries.

1968

“Boy's Adventure with Saxton Hale came under fire from the Senate Subcommittee on Juvenile Delinquency in 1968 for teaching boys aged 6-16, among other things: moral turpitude, arson, vandalism, hippie assault, tax fraud, at-home laryngectomies, car theft, gorilla slaughter, and the Heimlich Maneuver (which had just been invented and was still considered controversial). Pressured by the Senate, Mann Co. changed the name to Girl's Adventure With Saxton Hale, as it was commonly thought at the time that girls couldn't do anything, so any lessons taught to them would be harmless” (Mann Co). [19] Reliable Excavation Demolition (RED), a subsidiary of TF Industries, originally founded by Redmond Mann, and Builders League United (BLU), a subsidiary of TF Industries, originally founded by Blutarch Mann, are still struggling over unclaimed and abandoned land. The two companies hire hitmen and assassins to carry out their desires, under the guise of humble industries.

---