Meet the Pyro

Meet the Pyro
Video Info
Released:	June 27th, 2012
Run time:	2:32

Video transcript

Transcript

The term "Pyro" below refers to the protagonist, the RED Pyro. ["Meet the Pyro" text appears, then is burned away to reveal the feet of the Pyro, Fire Axe in hand, walking over a pair of glasses towards the camera.] [Cut to a small room. The RED Heavy is seen almost completely in silhouette.] Heavy: I fear no man. But that... thing... it scares me. [Cut to a view behind the Pyro's right shoulder. A BLU Engineer shuts a door before a BLU Scout can join him inside. Cut again to the interview room. This time it is the RED Scout in silhouette.] Scout: No, I...I ain't, I ain't talking about that freak. All right? [Worried, he tries to detach the lavalier microphone from his shirt.] Scout: He's not here, is he? [Scout continues to tug as he stands and walks toward the camera, knocking it over.] Scout: How do I get this ****ing thing off?! [Cut to Pyro kicking down the door into the BLU team's room, Flame Thrower ready. Fade back to the interview room, this time with the RED Spy.] Spy: One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask... [Cut to Pyro firing his Flame Thrower, then to a wider shot, showing an entire wooden town in flames.] Spy: ...or what dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty? [Cut to a front view of the Pyro, zooming rapidly into the blackness of one of his eyepieces. There is the sound of the Pyro's breathing and a single white spot which zooms forward and splits into a binocular view. When these focus, it shows a psychadelic dreamscape. As Do You Believe In Magic? begins playing, the view from the Pyro's eyes shows colorful hills, lollipops, and in his hands an unusually-shaped launcher, spraying a rainbow-colored mist over ground, causing colourful flowers to spring from the ground. The Pyro laughs. Within this dreamscape, BLU characters appear as little fairies and sound like babies. As a BLU Heavy appears and bounces on the ground, the Pyro grabs a lollipop and cheers. The two converge seemingly happily. While the Pyro in the dreamscape shoves the lollipop in the Heavy's mouth, in reality he's chopping the Heavy with the Fire Axe. Then a BLU Scout appears. Pyro blows bubbles in his face. In reality, Pyro shoots a BLU Scout with the Scorch Shot, making him reel back. In the dreamscape, a BLU Medic appears out of a box, and Pyro closes the box on him. In reality, Pyro traps the BLU Medic in a shed by barring the door with his axe.] Medic: No! [Pyro bathes the shed and the Medic in flames, while in the dreamscape, the Pyro continues to shoot streams of magic from his weapon, creating unusual floating creatures that the BLU fairy characters ride. The BLU fairies salute and celebrate the Pyro as he leaves while in reality...] Demoman: I'm burning! [A lit BLU Scout runs away while a BLU Sniper crashes out of a second-story window to the ground. He crawls over to the Pyro and holds his ankle.] Sniper: Help! [Pyro looks down and shoots his flame thrower. The Sniper can be heard screaming as the view zooms in on his mask, flames reflecting off the eyepieces as the Pyro tilts his head.] [Ending title card appears and accompanying music plays] [Cut back to the dreamscape, where the Pyro happily walks away into the sunset. The view zooms out and passes through the burnt, gaping hole in the a stomach of a BLU Soldier. The view transitions back to reality as the Soldier clutches his smouldering innards for a moment and then falls over with a stifled groan. The Pyro continues to walk away into the sunset, whistling to Do You Believe In Magic? as the town begins to collapse from the inferno, the streets littered with charred BLU corpses. Fade to black.]

Notes

• The title card displays "COPYRIGHT LOLOLOL" on the bottom right corner, a recurring joke throughout the Meet the Team videos.
• The matchbox on the title card has a picture of a stuffed unicorn on it, foreshadowing the one seen later in the video.
• This is the last Meet the Team video, presumably concluding the series. To emphasize this, Valve has simultaneously released the Source Filmmaker, the tool used to produce all the movies.
• The song played when viewing the world through the Pyro's eyes is called Do You Believe in Magic by The Lovin' Spoonful.
• The Unicorn seen through Pyro's eyes was added to the Valve Store as an inflatable under the name "Inflatable Balloonicorn".
• During the outro class portrait, in the third and fourth frame, the Engineer, who happens to stand next to the Pyro, has a worried facial expression.

Gallery

• 

  Meet the Pyro Titlecard

• 

  Wallpaper.

• 

  The Pyro using the Scorch Shot on a Scout, as seen in the video.

• 

  The Pyro holding the Scorch Shot.

• 

  The "Inflatable Balloonicorn" from the Valve Store.

See also

• Meet the Team